Will Write For Shoes

The Bitch Is Back.

2011-08-27T13:19:00.000+01:00

I think it is time to resurrect this baby. I miss boring you all* to death!

*Yes, I know I am talking to myself**.

**It is awesome having multiple personalities to keep me company.

Seal of approval.

2011-03-14T15:06:00.001Z

Do you ever have that image of yourself in your head, where you are slimmer or taller or just more graceful? I do. In particular, whenever I go swimming I think I glide through the water like a young, slim seal...

When in reality...

Maybe this is why...

Heh.

This will be the easiest 10 bucks I ever made.

2011-02-25T22:49:00.000Z

I bet 10 bucks no-one reads this blog anymore.

*waits for the money to roll in*

(Awesome, will put it towards new shoes :-D )

Might as well face it, I'm addicted to carbs.

2011-02-11T17:56:00.000Z

My name is Tiz, and I am addicted to carbs.

There, I've said. The first step to recovery is admitting you have a problem, right?

Well, technically, I don't have a problem 'with' them. The problem would be not having them or trying to cut down on them. I don't crave sweets or chocolate or cake like others... I crave savoury goodness. For example, my favourite dessert is Nutella Pizza (*cue unrequited craving for Nutella pizza*).

I have already mention my love of chippies, and some of the other members of the carb family that I am also in love with are..

crackers...

naan bread...

pasta...

pizza...

and hot chips... *insert Homer Simpson drool noise here*

Mmmmmm... carbilicious!

If I was ever instructed to give up carbs, I don't know what I would do (well, apart from wanting to see the person's medical licence.. after trying to throttle them).

In the meantime, it's Pizza Night!!!

Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow!

2010-11-26T18:23:00.003Z

Pretty please!!

I have been in England for almost 6 months now and it is getting a lot cooler (read: cold) and some towns in the UK have already got some snow happening. They are all bragging about it on Twitter, with pictures showing various degrees of snow coverage. And well, ME WANT!!

Coming from Sydney where it never snows, I am a little bit excited about the possibility of snow and/or a white Christmas. The weather forecast yesterday mentioned that it would snow over the weekend in London. And then today, the prediction for snowfall was pushed back to mid next week. L.A.M.E.

Sure, I saw some snow up in the Scottish Highlands two weeks ago..

...but I want to be able to stick my tongue out and catch some flakes... Actually, scratch that. I suspect it will be a wee bit polluted by the time it reaches my tongue.. lol

I guess all I can do is wait for Mother Nature to let it snow when she feels it is the right time*.

*That time HAD BETTER BE TONIGHT**.

**Just a suggestion.

I am being stalked by the Easter Bunny.

2010-02-23T03:45:00.001Z

Ok, so that title may not be 100% true... But I am being stalked by a bunny rabbit on campus at work!! Look, I have photographic evidence..

There he is, on the path behind me on the way to my office:

'Innocently' poised on a grassy knoll (yes, I checked.. no rifle):

Casually pretending to be waiting for a bus at my bus stop:

And then, I got the office this morning... and found these on my desk!!

See... The evidence is all the in the Easter eggs! And, I just figured out how it got in... my office keys went "missing" late last week... hmmmm.

Ok, sure. I understand if you don't believe me.. but check out this picture and tell me someone isn't spying on me with a robot bunny that has part-camera and part-laser eyes...

Maybe I need to hire a security guard. Or maybe the lack of decent sleep for the past few weeks is making me a little bit cuckoo. Yeah, that must be it.

Can you get restraining orders placed on animals?

Puzzled.

2010-02-19T06:37:00.003Z

And so, when Mikey's away, Tiz will play! With jigsaw puzzles that is.

I know... bet you didn't think I was that wild and crazy. But I am.

And so, the epic challenge of the 3D Sydney Opera House jigsaw puzzle was undertaken...

They say Rome wasn't built in a day.. and neither was this puzzle...

It was a slightly painful process of putting together pieces that were pretty much all grey for the sails!

The puzzle came with this extra piece... I wasn't sure where that was supposed to go...

Ahhh, ok. Obviously he was the foreman for construction. He forgot his hard hat though... Lucky we weren't that concerned with OH&S on this job (which is good as I may or may not have been drinking on the job... shhh!).

Ta-da!

My work here is done.

See, just like the real thing!!

Old Blighty.

2010-02-18T05:41:00.004Z

One day, Tiz and Mikey randomly met on Twitter... To cut a long story* short, I will be going to England in a few months!! So, in preparation for trying to understand the Poms, the rest of this post will be written in English. Or something like that..

A few chaps may think I am barmy for going, but sod 'em. I think it is a smashing idea and I can't wait to say cheerio and all right to Mikey's friends and the Twitter peeps. It will be jolly good to be over there! Will have to have a kip or two on the plane and will be knackered after the flight, but it would be pants not to go (and I can save a few quid on duty free plonk!).

To say I am not excited would be telling a porky pie! I have been before so I won't have to do too much of that naff tourist malarky, but it will be brilliant to see what's occuring in London and surrounds these days. Might even have bangers and mash this time!

I don't mind cool weather, so hopefully it isn't that cold that I need to say cor blimey everyday, or that rainy that I need wellies. I am just looking forward to having a cracking time with Mikey and I am well chuffed that he wants me to go and stay with him :-)

Enough faffing around - I only have 2 months to plan what to pack.. Bollocks!! I do know that I will be taking my straw glasses so I can get well trolleyed with Mikey and the geezers over there!

* A slightly longer version of the story is that we randomly met on Twitter and after a few months fell in love. Mikey came to Australia for 5 months and due to the crappy Australian Visa process (bunch of twats!) recently had to go back to England. So I will be going over in April some time for a few months to get away from Sydney's humidity (just kidding! To be with Mikey) until his Visa can be arranged. As a bonus, I can avoid a birthday and stay the same age. Again. But that is another story I am sure you have all heard before. Anyway, I ♥ Mikey.

OCD Tendecies (Vol 4) - Instant Scratchies.

2009-12-08T05:41:00.003Z

So, I may have mentioned before that as the years pass and I miraculously manage to keep my sanity (*cough*crazylady*cough*), I notice more and more obsessive compulsive behaviour. No. 4 on the list involves Instant Scratchies.

Or more specifically, scratching between the lines.

Even if I don't win anything, I go back over it to make it neat. I hate messy scratchers (not a euphamism!).

I buy the ticket (I like the elaborate ones, makes it worth the few dollars you just spent), find a seat (this is serious business), get out a 5c coin (for precision scratching) and get to work. The day I get a maginifying glass to do this job, I will know I have taken it too far*.

I know they are often a waste of money and that you hardly win more than a free ticket, but when you do, it makes it all the more worth it! It is like you earned the win. Maybe I should experiment... the neater you are with scratching the coating off, the more you win**... (what was that I mentioned about being sane?)

* Note to self: Buy magnifying glass.

** Sure, the pic above is not of the neatest one I have done, and you may notice it was not a winning card. See, proves my theory correct so far!

Upsized.

2009-09-07T06:13:00.001+01:00

The other day I found out that I was taller than I thought I was.

One *whole* centimetre taller. I am officially over 1.5m now... Quick, sign me up for basketball - immediately, if not sooner! Basketball teams need at least one short person... those giant people need armrests, don't they?

That 1cm means a lot to me.. it takes me 1cm further away from ever being classified a midget (140cms, btw) or a dwarf (147cms (cripes.. that was a close one)). Hmmm, something to look forward to when I get old and start shrinking.

Sadly, this additional 1cm does not make other people any shorter. I know kids who, at 13, are taller then me (bastards). Granted, I think I stopped growing around that age, so I don't know why I am continually surprised by young kids towering over me.

Oooh!! With this extra 1cm, I wonder what grown-up rides I can get onto now!! *claps excitedly*

Paws For A While.

2009-09-07T05:18:00.001+01:00

Basically, I would like to live the life of my cat, Ruski. I mean, I am *pretty sure* I could handle sleeping whenever I wanted (all day), having the house to myself most of the time, and (if I had an owner like me) food pretty much whenever I liked.

That's right, I am jealous of my cat.

Extremely jealous.

There would no dusting, vacuuming, or washing to get done... In fact, the hardest thing I'd have to do as Ruski is to try and *not* cough up a furball on the carpet (or alternatively, try *to* cough up a furball on the carpet when the right mince meat isn't hand delivered and separated into pieces in my bowl).

I mean, is this not the life? Lying in the sun:

Passed out on a comfy bed:

Eating ice-cream cake from a bowl:

Sure, I spoil him. But he is my baby. A big one. (He isn't fat, just big-boned.)

Yep. Jealous.

I (Heart) You.

2009-08-24T06:20:00.001+01:00

A few weeks ago, I was sent the first picture by someone who happened upon that little, innocent piece of heart-shaped peel. Then I started to notice hearts everywhere...

Last week I read Sunny's blog post, 'Addicted to Love', which inspired me to share some of these pictures... And Sunny is right, the signs for love are everywhere.

T ♥ M

The Bane Of My Existence.

2009-07-23T06:20:00.017+01:00

Headphones.

They are out to get me. I shit you not.

I just look at them and they tangle. iPod, mobile phone, computer... doesn't matter what they are attached to, they instantly become a mess of cords the minute I am within 10m of them. In fact, I think they plot against me and take part in 'Operation: Mega-Tangle' just me to piss me off.

They get caught on everything in my bag, and get caught on the bag itself when I am taking them out for use. They get caught on my jacket, in my scarf, on seats, railings, plants, the treadmill... It is just ridiculous the amount of untangling I have to do on a daily basis. I am pretty sure it takes up at least 5 hours of my day.

Maybe they don't really mean it. Maybe they are just a pawn in Technology's evil game to kill me (through sheer frustration).

So, as I am doomed to be in an eternal struggle with headphones, I went and bought hot pink ones, so I have something pretty to look at...

... while wanting to rip them apart, stab them with a fork, drown them in water, bury them in wet cement, and run them over with a steam-roller*.

*Wow.. I am getting violent in my old age. Should maybe see someone about that..

OCD Tendencies (Vol 3) - Eating.

2009-07-14T07:12:00.004+01:00

So, I may have mentioned before that as the years pass but I miraculously manage to stay the same age (insert snort of disbelief here), I notice more and more obsessive compulsive behaviour. No.3 on the list involves eating food.

(If you read the post about me counting and sorting mixed nuts, you may know where this is headed...)

I like to eat bits of food in pairs (or any multiple of two really). For example, I have to have 2 or 4 bits of pasta on my fork. Also, I have to eat even numbers of olives. I will try to offload the extra one to someone else. Once, I even put an extra olive back into the salad bowl.. at a restaurant. True story.

And yes, I have counted peas before.

I don't know how or why this behaviour started... Although, I first remember doing it with fries. Oh, and FYI, the fries have to be of similar length otherwise I won't eat them. Halves of a piece of food are ok, given that I eat both halves - like with a boiled egg or cherry tomato that has been cut in half.

Obviously, this isn't the case when eating a piece of steak, or fish, or a slice of pizza. I mean, come on, I am not that crazy*.

*Obviously I need to eat an even number of pizza slices.

Nuts.

2009-06-11T12:06:00.003+01:00

Hand me the straight jacket. I am going nuts...

Today I bought a packet of mixed nuts, tipped them onto a plate, separated them and counted how many there were of each type.

Peanuts: 56
Almonds: 44
Hazelnuts: 32
Cashews: 24
Pecans: 18
Walnuts: 12
Brazil Nuts: 6

Lucky there were even numbers of each. Otherwise there could have been* (mental) issues for me.

Tomorrow, I may or may not divide them up daily portions. You know, just before the straight jacket gets buckled up.

* Lol... 'Could have been....' I suspect they already exist.

Toilet Humour.

2009-06-06T04:58:00.002+01:00

I often wonder why toilet humour is so funny*... and yet, cleaning a toilet is not. Hmmmm.

This may or may not have something to do with the fact that it is cleaning day. Toilets are gross. Public toilets are even worse, but lets not go there. We would all end up needing therapy.

Give me a poo or fart joke any day, though :-) Or a whoopee cushion. Well, maybe not a whoopee cushion... I already have 3. I used to have a CD of 100+ fart sound effects which would have me on the floor in hysterics every time. But alas, that CD was lent out and never to be seen again *cries*. The funny thing is, is that mum wants me to find another CD... So apparently, the apple doesn't fart far from the tree. I mean fall, the apple doesn't fall far from the tree.

*Well, funny to me. Pull my finger.

Sinner.

2009-06-05T12:47:00.003+01:00

Like Fiona Apple sings in 'Criminal', I've been a bad, bad, girl...

Forgive me Blog, for I have sinned. It has been weeks since my last blog and I feel bad... Too many, shall we say, 'distractions' elsewhere... But I promise to be a good girl from now on. I don't want to be sent to the naughty corner... (well, not alone at least).

There is a lot more that I can bore you with, so will get onto it asap. After I log off from Twitter. And sign out of msn. And stop dressing as trailer trash (oh yeah... bet you can't wait for that blog).

Weekly Shoe Update..

2009-05-29T07:20:00.005+01:00

A Week In The Life Of My Feet...

2009-05-26T00:35:00.003+01:00

Shoe selection from last week...

Twitter... How I ♥ Thee...

2009-05-20T13:27:00.005+01:00

So, I may or may not be slightly addicted to Twitter.

I won't even tell you how many times I check it every day... but lets just say, I may or may not say "Peace out" to the tweeps, go brush my teeth... and then check again from my mobile in bed. Maybe...

10 metres and 4 minutes... *dials number for Twitter rehab..*

It is mostly because of the fabulous new friends I have made on Twitter... An ever expanding group of fun, creative types who love shoes, bags, jewellery, stationery, and all things girly like I do. Many have fabulous blogs (that make me feel like a rookie) and have made successful careers doing what they love... Maybe Twitter is what I have always needed to motivate me to figure out what I want to be/do when I grow up... (once I stop tweeting all day...)

And I have made several new friends overseas. I declared my love for one of them today (he saved me some crumpets with honey!). Even though the time difference can be annoying, it is still great to be talking to people on the other side of the globe.

And then there are my real-life friends on there that I can chat to instantaneously, plan outings and get to know even better!

I don't know why people don't like Twitter... whats not to like?? Twitter is so random it's fabulous! I know a squid who loves cigars and is getting married, I know someone who loves #texaspie as much as I do, and I know girls who say 'Yes, it is ok to have that many shoes. In fact, here is a link to go buy more'.

This love affair is just beginning... ♥

A Week In The Life Of My Feet...

2009-05-19T04:08:00.005+01:00

Shoes for the (last) week...

Standing Room Only.

2009-05-16T04:42:00.000+01:00

On a 'night in' at a friend's place, a group of us started playing Trivial Pursuit ( the electronic version... pretty spiffy!). And it wasn't long before I got into trouble...

Not for cheating. Not for drinking too much... (we all were - a certain someone was drinking straight from the champagne bottle.. you know who you are! And that's why I ♥ you!).

No, I got into trouble for.... standing up. I know. How dare I!! What a sick, perverted individual I am (probably...).

So I have a fidgeting problem... So what! No need to pick on me. At first, I would sit down whenever they asked what the hell I was doing, but then I would be up again without realising. So I decided to stay up. They did not like.

Oh well, they may have mocked me (and still do)... but my team mate and I won! So there. *blows raspberry in their general direction*

Smarty Pants (No, Not Me)

2009-05-06T07:08:00.003+01:00

In a few short hours, I will be rubbing shoulders with some very smart people at the Innovation Awards at work. The awards "... recognise outstanding performance and excellence in innovation, and the contribution our research has made to the community".

One day, I will be receiving an award - for my research that is already underway on 'How many shoes are too many?'*

Adam Spencer is the Master of Ceremonies, so should be good evening. That being said, I am sure I will come out of this feeling extremely dumb, materialistic and a waste of space. So I plan on taking advantage of the free alcohol. And I will be wearing the sparkly shoes.... I feel better already!!

I wish I wore glasses so I could look more nerdy.

* I already know the answer: You can never have too many!!! I just plan on using the money to buy more shoes!!

New Shoes Cure The Blues.

2009-05-05T11:41:00.006+01:00

Introducing.... my new favourite shoes!!!

*le sigh* It's love.

I am the Gobbledok.

2009-05-03T10:28:00.003+01:00

Chippies!!!!

I ♥ them. If I could only eat one type of food for the rest of my life, it would be potato chips. I prefer plain chips, with salt & vinegar a close second. And don't even get me started on Cheezels! Forget chocolates, donuts, cake... Give me a bowl of chips and I will be happy. Day, night, drunk sober, drunk...

I think that I need to ban chippies from the house though.... or I will turn into the Gobbledock. Short, round, frizzy hair..... Wait a minute... I already am the Gobbledock!!!

Run, save yourselves! It's too late for me... Just leave your chips behind. Thanks.

OCD Tendencies (Vol 2) - Toilet Paper

2009-05-01T05:38:00.004+01:00

I have mentioned before that as I get older (but miraculously manage to keep my girlish figure....*insert pffft noise here*), I notice more and more obsessive compulsive behaviour. No.2 on the list involves Toilet Paper.

Listen up peoples... the paper on toilet paper rolls must hang OVER, not under!!! Seriously. The world would be a better place if we all turned the toilet rolls over. Well, maybe not the whole world. But my little world would be better if we did :-) It would save me from having to do it.

Yes, you heard me. I will change your toilet roll around. A friend told me once that if I kept doing it at her place, I would have to leave toilet paper origami. So I did. I made a fan (convenient for a bathroom).

I have some theories why this is the better way for toilet paper to be:

It doesn't keep rolling once you tear off what you need
Following on from 1, chances are you will use less if it isn't free flowing (environmentally friendly!)
It is more aesthetically pleasing

And finally, the most important one:

Tiz will be a much happier little Vegemite* who doesn't weird you out by loitering in your bathroom trying to turn the roll around!

So please, spread the word and make a change! Your house, your friend's place, restaurants.... (but you can skip the public loos... eewww!!).

I will thank you for it with toilet paper origami.

+ I don't actually like Vegemite, but "little Nutella" doesn't have the same ring to it...

++ I'd also like to give a shout-out to my friend Naomi, who also turns the paper around. She also spells really well ;-)

Fail!

2009-04-28T13:47:00.002+01:00

And so, I failed my goal of no new shoes before New Zealand...

Yep, I bought a pair of shoes online (again).... these ones are flats though, so they don't really count!

They were on sale... Well, we are having a financial crisis, so this was a good move!

And, I needed these ones to match a cardigan that I bought and have yet to wear - as I did not have shoes to match. Well, now I do and I plan on wearing both tomorrow :-)

Ok, ok... I will not buy anymore shoes before NZ. Seriously.

(Pfffft)

Bitter?

2009-04-26T14:22:00.003+01:00

Why yes, yes I am. Some kids, two houses away are having a party. This story will relate shortly.

They say you should forgive and forget. Well, I can do one of those 'sort of' and the other 'Buckley's'. I may forgive but I will, most likely, not forget. Or vice versa. Either way, I have been known to hold a grudge.

Let me take you back 4 years (lie) to my 21st. We had a party at home. It was fancy dress. A handful of you may have been there. So, there we were, drinking, dancing, mucking around on the wrestling mat.... I was a fan of WWE wrestling... what, wrestling is real! (lie). Anyways, there we were minding our own business and we get a noise complaint at 11:30pm. Thanks, a-hole.

OK, fine. we may have been a tad loud (unlikely) but we gave you plenty of warning. But, ever since then, some kids who live in the cul-de-sac (hehehe, sac) near me have parties all the time, with no noise complaints, even though they are really loud and they often go til late (it is a Sunday, give it a rest!!). It is unfair and I am not happy.

So, I hold a grudge. Big deal. 4 years on (lie) and I will never forget that someone canned my 21st - yet these buggers get to party all night and no-one complains!

Harrumph!

I ♥ My Friends

2009-04-22T13:00:00.003+01:00

Today was a great day!!

I took an RDO (Random Day Off), as did a couple of friends, to celebrate the release of the Twilight DVD in Oz... and it was worth it! While we would have included some of the deleted/extended scenes, we still can't get enough of this movie!

The commentary was pretty funny (apart from Hardwick constantly wanting to get into Rob's pants... they belong to me, thank you very much), and it resulted in me gaining a new favourite word: Bouffant [Best pronounced with a silent t and an English accent.]

Long story short, I ♥ my friends with whom I can admit obsession with Twilight, R Pattz, J Rathbizzle and KLutz, mention a potential girl-crush on N Reed and talk about characters on Twitter as if they are real.

So, to my biatches, love you long time! Thanks for letting me be 26 again (and again...).

OCD Tendencies (Vol 1) - Pegs

2009-04-20T01:05:00.002+01:00

As I am getting older (but miraculously manage to keep my youthful looks....*smirk*), I notice more and more obsessive compulsive behaviour. Probably the most advanced OC behaviour involves Pegs.

Rules for Peg Usage:

Must use an even number of pegs - I will stick an extra peg onto some washing, or make items share pegs if necessary.
Peg material must be matching (plastic pairs and wood pairs)
Peg colour must be matching
Level of fade must be matching - even wood pegs must be matching in fade
If a peg is slightly damaged, a matching peg at the same level of damage must be used
There are specific pegs for specific items (e.g. towels and sheets have the big chunky pegs (my favourites!), clothing has wood pegs, etc)
If I put washing out after someone else has, I will change their pegs so they meet the above requirements

One ticket to Crazy Town, please!

P.S.

2009-04-17T13:04:00.002+01:00

My new shoes arrived today!!! Can't wait to wear them on a night out with the girls :-)

I love them so. They are my new favourite shoes!

ATM Machine Machines*

2009-04-17T12:27:00.004+01:00

I love it how people, when using an ATM and are informed they have insufficient funds, proceed to stare in an accusatory way at the machine. Like, "What did you do with all my money?!? I am sure I had money left after several rounds at the pub, a pit stop at 7 Eleven and a cab ride home....".

I was at the fantastic Macquarie Centre today (that one's for you Mez!) and was in line for the ATM. A lady in front of me did this. And when she stepped away, receipt in hand, she turned and looked at the machine again (clearly in case it was running away with her money clenched in its fist).

These poor machines cop a lot of crap from people. The evil stares, punching the keypad when angry at lack of dollars, being blown up by thieves and dragged away... Poor things! No wonder they steal your money.

* I say it that way because when people say "I need an ATM machine" people respond "Derrr, you are saying automatic teller machine machine". So that is now what I say.

I Am Not Allowed To Buy Anymore Shoes...

2009-04-16T12:23:00.009+01:00

.... Until New Zealand that is! Which is approximately 63 (long and torturous) days away. I don't know if I can cope with that.

So it is lucky that I ordered some online earlier this week! They will be the last pair, for now. And I need these ones as they match a headband I bought recently.

Okay, okay. I may have a slight shoe addiction. It isn't that bad.... everyone has over 100 shoes, don't they?