The Bitch Is Back.

I think it is time to resurrect this baby. I miss boring you all* to death!








*Yes, I know I am talking to myself**.


**It is awesome having multiple personalities to keep me company.

Seal of approval.

Do you ever have that image of yourself in your head, where you are slimmer or taller or just more graceful? I do. In particular, whenever I go swimming I think I glide through the water like a young, slim seal...

When in reality...

Maybe this is why...

Heh.

This will be the easiest 10 bucks I ever made.

I bet 10 bucks no-one reads this blog anymore.


*waits for the money to roll in*






(Awesome, will put it towards new shoes :-D )

Might as well face it, I'm addicted to carbs.

My name is Tiz, and I am addicted to carbs.

There, I've said. The first step to recovery is admitting you have a problem, right? 

Well, technically, I don't have a problem 'with' them. The problem would be not having them or trying to cut down on them. I don't crave sweets or chocolate or cake like others... I crave savoury goodness. For example, my favourite dessert is Nutella Pizza (*cue unrequited craving for Nutella pizza*).

I have already mention my love of chippies, and some of the other members of the carb family that I am also in love with are..

crackers...

naan bread...

pasta...

pizza...

and hot chips... *insert Homer Simpson drool noise here*

Mmmmmm... carbilicious!


If I was ever instructed to give up carbs, I don't know what I would do (well, apart from wanting to see the person's medical licence.. after trying to throttle them). 

In the meantime, it's Pizza Night!!!   

Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow!

Pretty please!!

I have been in England for almost 6 months now and it is getting a lot cooler (read: cold) and some towns in the UK have already got some snow happening. They are all bragging about it on Twitter, with pictures showing various degrees of snow coverage. And well, ME WANT!!

Coming from Sydney where it never snows, I am a little bit excited about the possibility of snow and/or a white Christmas. The weather forecast yesterday mentioned that it would snow over the weekend in London. And then today, the prediction for snowfall was pushed back to mid next week. L.A.M.E.

Sure, I saw some snow up in the Scottish Highlands two weeks ago..

...but I want to be able to stick my tongue out and catch some flakes... Actually, scratch that. I suspect it will be a wee bit polluted by the time it reaches my tongue.. lol

I guess all I can do is wait for Mother Nature to let it snow when she feels it is the right time*. 





*That time HAD BETTER BE TONIGHT**.

**Just a suggestion.

I am being stalked by the Easter Bunny.

Ok, so that title may not be 100% true... But I am being stalked by a bunny rabbit on campus at work!! Look, I have photographic evidence..

There he is, on the path behind me on the way to my office:

'Innocently'  poised on a grassy knoll (yes, I checked.. no rifle):

Casually pretending to be waiting for a bus at my bus stop:

And then, I got the office this morning... and found these on my desk!!

See... The evidence is all the in the Easter eggs! And, I just figured out how it got in... my office keys went "missing" late last week... hmmmm.

Ok, sure. I understand if you don't believe me.. but check out this picture and tell me someone isn't spying on me with a robot bunny that has part-camera and part-laser eyes...

Maybe I need to hire a security guard. Or maybe the lack of decent sleep for the past few weeks is making me a little bit cuckoo.  Yeah, that must be it.





Can you get restraining orders placed on animals?

Puzzled.

And so, when Mikey's away, Tiz will play!  With jigsaw puzzles that is.

I know... bet you didn't think I was that wild and crazy.  But I am.

And so, the epic challenge of the 3D Sydney Opera House jigsaw puzzle was undertaken...

They say Rome wasn't built in a day..  and neither was this puzzle...

It was a slightly painful process of putting together pieces that were pretty much all grey for the sails!

The puzzle came with this extra piece... I wasn't sure where that was supposed to go...

Ahhh, ok. Obviously he was the foreman for construction. He forgot his hard hat though... Lucky we weren't that concerned with OH&S on this job (which is good as I may or may not have been drinking on the job... shhh!).

Ta-da!

My work here is done.

See, just like the real thing!!

 

Old Blighty.

One day, Tiz and Mikey randomly met on Twitter... To cut a long story* short, I will be going to England in a few months!! So, in preparation for trying to understand the Poms, the rest of this post will be written in English. Or something like that..

A few chaps may think I am barmy for going, but sod 'em. I think it is a smashing idea and I can't wait to say cheerio and all right to Mikey's friends and the Twitter peeps.  It will be jolly good to be over there!  Will have to have a kip or two on the plane and will be knackered after the flight, but it would be pants not to go (and I can save a few quid on duty free plonk!). 


To say I am not excited would be telling a porky pie!  I have been before so I won't have to do too much of that naff tourist malarky, but it will be brilliant to see what's occuring in London and surrounds these days.  Might even have bangers and mash this time! 


I don't mind cool weather, so hopefully it isn't that cold that I need to say cor blimey everyday, or that rainy that I need wellies.  I am just looking forward to having a cracking time with Mikey and I am well chuffed that he wants me to go and stay with him :-)


Enough faffing around - I only have 2 months to plan what to pack.. Bollocks!! I do know that I will be taking my straw glasses so I can get well trolleyed with Mikey and the geezers over there!



 

* A slightly longer version of the story is that we randomly met on Twitter and after a few months fell in love.  Mikey came to Australia for 5 months and due to the crappy Australian Visa process (bunch of twats!) recently had to go back to England.  So I will be going over in April some time for a few months to get away from Sydney's humidity (just kidding! To be with Mikey) until his Visa can be arranged. As a bonus, I can avoid a birthday and stay the same age. Again.  But that is another story I am sure you have all heard before.  Anyway, I ♥ Mikey.

OCD Tendecies (Vol 4) - Instant Scratchies.

So, I may have mentioned before that as the years pass and I miraculously manage to keep my sanity (*cough*crazylady*cough*), I notice more and more obsessive compulsive behaviour. No. 4 on the list involves Instant Scratchies.

Or more specifically, scratching between the lines.  

Even if I don't win anything, I go back over it to make it neat. I hate messy scratchers (not a euphamism!).

I buy the ticket (I like the elaborate ones, makes it worth the few dollars you just spent), find a seat (this is serious business), get out a 5c coin (for precision scratching) and get to work. The day I get a maginifying glass to do this job, I will know I have taken it too far*.  

I know they are often a waste of money and that you hardly win more than a free ticket, but when you do, it makes it all the more worth it! It is like you earned the win. Maybe I should experiment... the neater you are with scratching the coating off, the more you win**... (what was that I mentioned about being sane?)





* Note to self: Buy magnifying glass.

** Sure, the pic above is not of the neatest one I have done, and you may notice it was not a winning card. See, proves my theory correct so far!

Upsized.

The other day I found out that I was taller than I thought I was.

One *whole* centimetre taller.  I am officially over 1.5m now...  Quick, sign me up for basketball - immediately, if not sooner! Basketball teams need at least one short person... those giant people need armrests, don't they?

That 1cm means a lot to me.. it takes me 1cm further away from ever being classified a midget (140cms, btw) or a dwarf (147cms (cripes.. that was a close one)). Hmmm, something to look forward to when I get old and start shrinking.

Sadly, this additional 1cm does not make other people any shorter.  I know kids who, at 13, are taller then me (bastards).  Granted, I think I stopped growing around that age, so I don't know why I am continually surprised by young kids towering over me.


Oooh!! With this extra 1cm, I wonder what grown-up rides I can get onto now!! *claps excitedly*

Paws For A While.

Basically, I would like to live the life of my cat, Ruski.  I mean, I am *pretty sure* I could handle sleeping whenever I wanted (all day), having the house to myself most of the time, and (if I had an owner like me) food pretty much whenever I liked. 

That's right, I am jealous of my cat.

Extremely jealous.

There would no dusting, vacuuming, or washing to get done...  In fact, the hardest thing I'd have to do as Ruski is to try and *not* cough up a furball on the carpet (or alternatively, try *to* cough up a furball on the carpet when the right mince meat isn't hand delivered and separated into pieces in my bowl).

I mean, is this not the life? Lying in the sun:

Passed out on a comfy bed:

Eating ice-cream cake from a bowl:

Sure, I spoil him.  But he is my baby.  A big one.  (He isn't fat, just big-boned.)

Yep.  Jealous.

I (Heart) You.

A few weeks ago, I was sent the first picture by someone who happened upon that little, innocent piece of heart-shaped peel.  Then I started to notice hearts everywhere...

Last week I read Sunny's blog post, 'Addicted to Love', which inspired me to share some of these pictures... And Sunny is right, the signs for love are everywhere.


T ♥ M

The Bane Of My Existence.

Headphones.

They are out to get me. I shit you not.

I just look at them and they tangle. iPod, mobile phone, computer... doesn't matter what they are attached to, they instantly become a mess of cords the minute I am within 10m of them. In fact, I think they plot against me and take part in 'Operation: Mega-Tangle' just me to piss me off.

They get caught on everything in my bag, and get caught on the bag itself when I am taking them out for use. They get caught on my jacket, in my scarf, on seats, railings, plants, the treadmill... It is just ridiculous the amount of untangling I have to do on a daily basis. I am pretty sure it takes up at least 5 hours of my day.

Maybe they don't really mean it. Maybe they are just a pawn in Technology's evil game to kill me (through sheer frustration).

So, as I am doomed to be in an eternal struggle with headphones, I went and bought hot pink ones, so I have something pretty to look at...

... while wanting to rip them apart, stab them with a fork, drown them in water, bury them in wet cement, and run them over with a steam-roller*.

*Wow.. I am getting violent in my old age. Should maybe see someone about that..

OCD Tendencies (Vol 3) - Eating.

So, I may have mentioned before that as the years pass but I miraculously manage to stay the same age (insert snort of disbelief here), I notice more and more obsessive compulsive behaviour. No.3 on the list involves eating food.

(If you read the post about me counting and sorting mixed nuts, you may know where this is headed...)

I like to eat bits of food in pairs (or any multiple of two really). For example, I have to have 2 or 4 bits of pasta on my fork. Also, I have to eat even numbers of olives. I will try to offload the extra one to someone else. Once, I even put an extra olive back into the salad bowl.. at a restaurant. True story.

And yes, I have counted peas before.

I don't know how or why this behaviour started... Although, I first remember doing it with fries. Oh, and FYI, the fries have to be of similar length otherwise I won't eat them. Halves of a piece of food are ok, given that I eat both halves - like with a boiled egg or cherry tomato that has been cut in half.

Obviously, this isn't the case when eating a piece of steak, or fish, or a slice of pizza. I mean, come on, I am not that crazy*.





*Obviously I need to eat an even number of pizza slices.

Nuts.

Hand me the straight jacket. I am going nuts...

Today I bought a packet of mixed nuts, tipped them onto a plate, separated them and counted how many there were of each type.

Peanuts: 56
Almonds: 44
Hazelnuts: 32
Cashews: 24
Pecans: 18
Walnuts: 12
Brazil Nuts: 6

Lucky there were even numbers of each. Otherwise there could have been* (mental) issues for me.

Tomorrow, I may or may not divide them up daily portions. You know, just before the straight jacket gets buckled up.



* Lol... 'Could have been....' I suspect they already exist.

Toilet Humour.

I often wonder why toilet humour is so funny*... and yet, cleaning a toilet is not. Hmmmm.

This may or may not have something to do with the fact that it is cleaning day. Toilets are gross. Public toilets are even worse, but lets not go there. We would all end up needing therapy.

Give me a poo or fart joke any day, though :-) Or a whoopee cushion. Well, maybe not a whoopee cushion... I already have 3. I used to have a CD of 100+ fart sound effects which would have me on the floor in hysterics every time. But alas, that CD was lent out and never to be seen again *cries*. The funny thing is, is that mum wants me to find another CD... So apparently, the apple doesn't fart far from the tree. I mean fall, the apple doesn't fall far from the tree.



*Well, funny to me. Pull my finger.

Sinner.

Like Fiona Apple sings in 'Criminal', I've been a bad, bad, girl...

Forgive me Blog, for I have sinned. It has been weeks since my last blog and I feel bad... Too many, shall we say, 'distractions' elsewhere... But I promise to be a good girl from now on. I don't want to be sent to the naughty corner... (well, not alone at least).

There is a lot more that I can bore you with, so will get onto it asap. After I log off from Twitter. And sign out of msn. And stop dressing as trailer trash (oh yeah... bet you can't wait for that blog).

Weekly Shoe Update..

A Week In The Life Of My Feet...

Shoe selection from last week...